Living Life As A Bisexual Teen

I knew I liked girls from a very young age. I came to terms with what it actually was and meant around age 12. I came out at age 17. This has been a part of my life for a long time. From age 12-16 I thought I was lesbian. The thing with sexuality is, it changes. It can be a fluid thing for some people. Even now for me it still changes from time to time. If any of you are struggling or questioning yourself, here is my advice.

It is okay to be in the questioning phase for a while. Sometimes it takes a little longer for some people. When you first figure it out for yourself, you don't have to come out right away. My mom has been telling me from a very young age that it is okay to be gay. Even with the support, It took nearly 5 years for me to come out. I started subtly coming out at school to a few close people and I started embracing my hidden style of suspenders , bow ties, button up shirts, and many other clothing items that people would consider "gay". I got a lot of hate from people at school and experienced a lot of bullying on the bus. I had and still have a boyfriend at that time so I got a lot of comments like "is he trans then? I thought you were lesbian" "Are you actually a boy??" "What's with the button ups and suspenders, get them from your boyfriend's closet?" etc.

Later in the year I struggled with suicide, self harm, and depression. Not all caused by the bullying, I had other traumas going on at the time but the bullying at school didn't make it easier. These people would always ask me rude questions about it and I would always answer them. This is where I went wrong. You don't have to validate yourself to these ignorant people. It only gives them more fuel to tease you with. I should have just minded my own business and not talk back to them and give them more content to poke at. That is my advice to any of you folks who are trying to come out. Don't give them what they want. Don't respond. Just know that you are valid and don't need to give in to these jerks.

Coming out is a process, and the funny thing is, you never really stop coming out. I am still coming out to people. My advice is to not do it all at once on social media. That can cause drama and sometimes blindsiding. The best way to do it is to slowly come out to friends you are close to and family. It may be hard for those of you with conservative families or families that are not as open to the idea, but give them time to warm up to it. It's fresh and new. I only recently came out to my family and I feel like they don't see it to be very relevant because I am dating a man, but they are still warming up to it all and taking longer to process than others, and that is okay. It took me 5 years to process it myself.

I have a supportive mom and a dad who is doing his best to support me in the little ways he can. He is still warming up to it but I would say that I have a very supportive family and I am lucky to have that. Some people don't. However, don't let that discourage you from being yourself. There are lots of helpful resources like Encircle that I have discovered over the years. Encircle helped me get though so much, including coming out to my direct family. 

There have been days when I think everything would just be easier if I were straight. However, the LGBTQ+ community has given me so many experiences and friends that make me happy to be me. Knowing what I know now, I am happy with who I am and I wouldn't trade my new life for anything. I say "new life" as in "post" coming out when it all became more real and relevant. I had the opportunity to march with Encircle at the freedom fest independence day parade. I was even quoted in the Salt Lake Tribune (Maddie Knowlton)  (link below). I am happy to be where I am now. I wish I could tell my past self that there is so much love and acceptance right around the corner, but my dark days somehow make my new experiences so much sweeter. It gave me a new passion for life and to love it the best I can. 

So that is what I am here to tell any of you who are trying to come out, already have come out, or are just interested in this topic, there is love and acceptance for everyone.

https://www.sltrib.com/news/2018/07/04/provo-lets-freedom-ring/